Run Your Race at Your Own Pace

Run your race at your own pace.

The other day, I went for a bike ride in the near by neighborhood.

As I turned the corner, I noticed a group of bikers ahead of me.

Immediately, my attention went to how fast they were going.

I noticed my inner dialogue began to change.

I started the ride with, “I can do this. I am going to enjoy every mile.”

Then, after seeing the bikers, it turned to, “Go faster. You need to be going at their speed.”

All of a sudden, I was looking down at myself.

I was devaluing my own progress, my own race.

Seconds before I picked up my speed, a thought popped into my head.

A reminder.

Run your race at your own pace.

It stopped me dead in my tracks.

“What a timely reminder,” I thought to myself.

Not only was it applicable in this case, but other areas of my life.

Public speaking.

Coaching.

Relationships.

All of these areas can be “ran” at my own pace without the need of having to compare it to others.

Next time you’re in a similar position that I was, just remember to, “Run your race at your own pace.”

Focus on What You Can Control

Don’t worry about what you can’t control.

Focus on what you can control.

The other day, I felt frustrated.

A friend of mine had promised to call.

The call never came.

It wasn’t the first time such thing happened.

We’ve been playing phone tag for quite some time.

There have been times when I called and he didn’t answer.

There have been times when he called and I didn’t answer.

As I sat there, waiting for the call, I felt a sense of frustration cloud over me.

Part of me couldn’t believe this was happening, again.

Then, I was reminded of a quote from years ago.

“Don’t worry about what you can’t control. Focus on what you can control.”

I can’t control when he calls or if he calls.

I can control how I react.

I can control my attitude.

I can control how I choose to see him moving forward.

I can control the story I create in my head.

This situation was a great reminder not only for this time, but thousands of other times life presents in front of me.

Don’t worry about what you can’t control.

Focus on what you can control.

Don’t Make Permanent Decisions Based On Temporary Feelings

Don’t make permanent decisions based on temporary feelings.

A friendly reminder from a great friend of mine.

I immediately thought of the numerous times I’ve done such throughout my life.

The times when I ended friendships due to feeling angry.

The times when I ended relationships with significant others when things got tough.

The times when I ended business relationships due to being disappointed.

I was convinced that I was absolutely right.

Making the decision justified how I felt.

I’ve repeated such approach for years until I got tired of waking up to regret the following morning.

Enough was enough.

I had to change.

I started by asking others what they did in similar situations.

Most if not all responded with, “Stop. Breathe. Decide.”

I slowly introduced such practice into my life.

I started with just, “Stop.”

Then, incorporating, “Stop. Breathe.”

Then, “Stop, Breathe. Decide.”

Years later, this three word approach completely changed the way I make decisions.

Next time you’re in a similar situation, remember to: Stop. Breathe. Decide.

Don’t Be Afraid to Start Over

Don’t be afraid to start over.

A few weeks ago, I was compiling a list of emails to send workshop proposals to.

Half way through, I thought, “Why am I doing this? These organizations never responded in the past.”

I closed the laptop and prepared to move on to the next task.

Then, I was reminded of a conversation I had with a friend of mine a few days prior.

I remember him telling me, “Starting over doesn’t mean you’re starting from scratch … starting over is not a sign of failure.”

I noticed myself take a long pause.

The reason why I viewed the task the way I did was because of those things.

Part of me felt that I was starting from scratch.

Part of me felt that the previous efforts failed.

The reality of the matter, I wasn’t starting from scratch, I was starting from experience.

The email I had this time was drastically different than the one before. Therefore, it could produce different results.

There are many reasons why I may not have received the expected number of responses initially.

I might not have emailed the right people.

I might have emailed them at a time when they were preoccupied with other tasks.

The emails might have gone to spam.

The list goes on and on.

Reframing my original story helped me create a new narrative.

The type of narrative I felt motivated by.

As I am writing this, I am realizing that this situation can apply to many areas of my life.

The incomplete to-do list from the day before.

The workout I didn’t finish.

The “thank you” card sitting on my desk, waiting to be sent.

The difficult conversation I chose to avoid.

Today is a new day.

Today is another opportunity to start over, to complete what appeared to be the same task with a different view, different approach.

Let Go of Stories that No Longer Serve You

Let go of stories that no longer serve you.

The other day, I went for a run with two of my friends.

As we completed one of many laps around the soccer field, I heard one of them say, “I’d be able to run with you all if I had better shoes … if the weather wasn’t so hot.”

Although, there might have been truth in both of his statements, I chose to explore it further.

I wanted to see if he was in a similar place I used to be.

I used to create stories when the going got tough.

Stories about obstacles that weren’t truly obstacles.

Stories that didn’t serve me.

The weather.

The shoes.

The unevenly cut grass.

The ducks crossing the road.

I’d find things, create a story about them, then use those stories as a way to justify my performance or give myself reasons to stop early.

I asked my friend, “Is it really the shoes or the weather that’s preventing you from going faster?”

Nothing but silence that followed.

I sensed I might have hit the nail on the head.

Then, I shared my experience, how I’ve been able to let go of similar stories that didn’t serve me.

1. Be honest. Don’t mask the truth. Don’t create obstacles that aren’t truly obstacles. If you feel tired, then you feel tired. Acknowledge the truth.

2. Identify your competition. For me, the only competition was the one I saw in the mirror. It’s “Me vs Me”. It made no difference to me how fast or slow the person next to me was going. I, and only I, know when I’m giving it my all and when I have more left in the tank.

Are the stories you tell yourself holding you back?

Reach out!

Let’s create a new narrative by transforming the old, one story at a time.

Change is Inevitable. Growth is Optional.

Change is inevitable.

Growth is optional.

It has been seven years since I had this realization.

Realization that change is going to happen with or without me.

The change in friendships.

The change in emotions.

The change in my life’s purpose.

Most of these changes are inevitable.

Friends come and go.

Times of pure joy are followed by anger.

Days of clarity are followed by confusion.

The difference is how I choose to engage with all of these changes.

I can let them happen TO ME or FOR ME.

Seven years ago, I chose to to look at these inevitable changes as things happening, “FOR ME.”

I chose to look at friendships, past or present, as opportunities to learn and grow from. Opportunities to see parts of myself in them and how I show up in the world.

I chose how I react to emotionally charged conflicts. The choice to look at them as simply information for me to choose from.

I chose how I see my life’s purpose. Something that is meant to evolve and not be defined for the rest of time.

Change is inevitable.

Growth is optional. It is a choice that I make over and over again.

If you can relate, and are looking to grow, to articulate lessons learned, to create the story you like and believe in, reach out!

Let’s rewrite your story, together.

Forgive Yourself

Forgive yourself.

A few days ago, I had a conversation with a client of mine when I was reminded of this.

All of the “should’ve,” “could’ve” “would’ve” moments immediately came to mind.

The scenarios that used to keep me up at night.

The time had I paid my rent on the day it was due, I wouldn’t have received the eviction notice.

The time had I gone to my friend’s wedding, I could have prevented the falling out of a friendship.

The time had I kept my mouth shut, the relationship with my significant other would have survived.

The blessing and the curse of hindsight.

Hindsight that can keep me as the prisoner of my past or the pioneer of my future.

It took me years to rewrite these stories.

Acceptance played a critical role in all of this.

I made a choice to accept the past as the past. To not go back in time and try to change the outcome, rather learn what I can from each event.

I made a choice to celebrate the courage it took to make many of these decisions in the first place.

I made a choice to not blame myself in the future if similar events were to take place.

I made a choice to acknowledge and put into practice the concept of, “I don’t know what I don’t know.” Liberating and terrifying feeling at the same time.

If you can relate, and are looking for ways to transform the stories of your past, reach out!

Experience the power of forgiveness and create a better story or life narrative!

Inflate Your Tires

Inflate your tires.

The other day, I had a flat tire.

I didn’t notice it until I was a few blocks away from home.

I sensed the difference as I made my way around one of the turns.

I quickly checked both tires.

Front tire, great.

Back tire, flat.

I got off the bicycle immediately.

I didn’t want to damage the wheel or cause any other problems.

As I walked home, holding the bike in one hand, I couldn’t help but think of the flat tire and it’s metaphor.

All tires need air to run smoothly.

Each tire must be inflated properly (recommended tire pressure). If the tire has too much air or not enough, it can lead to problems and uncomfortable rides.

Not every tire is meant for every terrain. Some can sustain the impact of nails, glass, rocks. Others, pop immediately.

I thought, “What a beautiful metaphor.”

I need air to operate smoothly.

For me, the “air” is food, relationships, sleep, exercise, daily reflection … and of course, oxygen. Without it, I’ll die.

If operating with too much “air” or not enough, my days become less enjoyable.

What do you need RIGHT NOW to operate smoothly?