Visualizing the Endgame

It all started when she was a little girl.

She said, “Since I was a little girl, I always knew that I wanted to be a social worker. So, I knew that I had to do certain things in order to be able to work with people …”

I was once told, “a dream written down with a definite date becomes a goal; a goal broken down into actionable steps becomes a plan; a plan supported by action becomes a reality.”

For Ebony, the process was not any different [dream -> goal -> plan -> reality]

She continued by saying, “ … I always knew that I wanted to work with people … I didn't know the form or the setting, but I knew that I wanted to work with teens … So, I knew regardless of the things that I was facing in foster care or the abuse that I was enduring that I had to keep pushing forward in order to see the ending light. In order to get to be where I am today to help other people …”

What are you doing to put yourself closer toward achieving your dreams? What type of people are your surrounding yourself with or need to surround yourself with to help you achieve those dreams?

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:

  • On Story: Use your story to give back to others

  • On Trauma: Seek support groups

  • On Routine: Develop a routine that brings the best of you

  • On Self-Care: Take the time to care of your mind, body and spirit

Want to Connect with Ebony?

Instagram | Facebook

The Power of Your Story

It took him years to get to this point.

He said, “… The story that I was once ashamed of was the story that was helping liberate people from their own circumstances or issues they may have been ashamed of …”

What are you still ashamed of when it comes to sharing your story? How are you working through it?

It is by answering such questions Branden Brown was able to find his purpose in life, to help increase the quality of life of people and their families through teachings and powerful coaching experiences.

Tune in to our conversation with Branden Brown, as we discuss the importance of choosing your own family, treating others the same way you want them to treat you, helping yourself before you can help others, and many others.

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS: 

  • On Family: You get to choose your family

  • On Relationships: Treat people the way you want them to treat you

  • On Helping Others: Help yourself before you can help others

  • On Narrative: Live the story you want to tell, not the story others want you to tell

Want to Connect with Branden?

Facebook | Website | Twitter

The Power of Positive Self-Talk

What do you do when you experience negative self-talk?

An inner dialogue you have with yourself that often goes unnoticed.

She said, “… How do you get yourself to that part where you’re able to give yourself a positive self-talk? Not just hear it, but listen and believe it … How do you get to the point where you’re able to look yourself in the mirror and say, “I love you?”

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:

  • On Self-Worth: Reflect on and acknowledge your accomplishments

  • On Healing: Heal yourself before you can heal others

  • On Forgiveness: “I forgive you for everything …”

  • On Self: “Define yourself for yourself, so you’re not crunched into other people's fantasies…”

Want to Connect with Gina?

Website | Twitter | Instagram | YouTube | LinkedIn | Facebook

Find Your Inner Strength

Where do you look for strength during times of adversity?

She said, “I’ve been in therapy since the age of 13 and I’m still in therapy … It’s not shaming to go into therapy … It’s your strength … It’s connecting with that part of you that is strong … We don’t get over things, we move through things and you need someone to be there with you through your processing because what’s shareable is bearable within yourself …”

Who are the people that you can count on when times get tough?

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:

  • On Stress Management: Break it down into parts to help you process

  • On Voice: Listen to your inner voice

  • On Negative Thinking: Recognize it, and then suggest THREE positive thoughts

  • On Shame: Learn how to adopt yourself

Want to Connect with Jeanette?

Website | Youtube | Facebook | LinkedIn

"I Belong Here"

"Where do you belong?"

A question that some, if not most of us, get asked over and over throughout our lifetime.

A question that evokes thousands of responses, but how often do you take the time to stop and truly think about your own definition of “belonging”?

What are the elements that make up “belonging”? What does it mean to truly belong somewhere? How does it make you feel?

What are the elements that make up your sense of belonging?

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:

  • On Environment: “You’re the average of the five people you spend most of your time with”

  • On Growth: Surround yourself with people who will challenge your thinking

  • On Transition: Learn how to say, “No”

  • On Development: “Listen to people who are like you and follow in their footsteps”

Want to Connect with Nicole?

Website | Instagram | Facebook | Youtube | Twitter

The Decision to Call Them, “Mom & Dad”

A decision had to be made.

She said, “After being a foster for a little while, you just start wondering, ‘I want a family… I want to feel like I belong …’ You’re pushed to these strangers home and it didn't feel right to not know what to call them. I didn't want to call them, ‘uncle’ or ‘auntie’… They didn't feel like an ‘uncle’ or ‘auntie’… I knew that these people could potentially be really good for me in my life. That’s when I thought, ‘Maybe I should ask if I can call them Mom & Dad…’”

Do you remember the first time you called your parental figures, “Mom & Dad”? How did you feel after saying those words?

A set of questions that may be difficult for some, if not most of us to recall, but for Whitney, it’s a memory she’ll never forget.

What type of role have your parents played in your life?

If given one word to describe either of your parents, what would that word be?

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:

On Foster Care: “Bloom where you are planted”

On Trust: Take one step at a time

On Adversity: Know who you are

On Self-Worth: You are worth it

Want to Connect with Whitney?

Website | Instagram | Twitter

What makes you trust the people closest to you?

How does one develop trust? What are the elements that make up trust?

He said, “What I’ve seen in the past from my experience is trust really came from those who were consistent in my life …”

It is through consistency that we are able to tell whether or not people are fully invested in the relationship at hand.

  • Do they trust you enough to reveal deeper parts of themselves?

  • Do their actions speak louder than their words?

A set of questions that most of us seek answers to, as we try to form healthy and trustworthy relationships.

What questions do you seek answers to as you’re developing trust in a relationship?

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:

  • On Mentorship: Find people who will help you see the bigger picture in life

  • On Developing Trust: Learn to observe your environment

  • On Leadership: “Actions always speak louder than words”

  • On Self-Narrative: “Why” do you want to share your story?

The Decision

She couldn’t tell anyone.

For five months, she sat alone, in her college dorm room, getting sick, not wanting others to know.

She said, “When I was a junior in college, I found out that I was pregnant. I was at a strict religious school and at the time … it was definitely frowned upon… I always dreamed of being a mom one day, I just knew it wasn’t the time. I had no way of providing the kind of life I thought my baby deserved. I really wrestled with this decision of what to do, how to handle the situation and while I was thinking through that, I had to hide my pregnancy…”

A decision had to be made.

She said, “In the end, when I realized that I couldn’t give her everything she deserved, I went ahead and made an adoption plan for her … Leaving the hospital without my newborn was probably the single hardest thing, I have ever done in my life … The loneliness that envelopes you, the doubts, the fears, the worries of not doing the right thing or not ruining someone’s life … But, I knew at the time that I loved her so much, that I wanted more for her than I could give …”

For Adrian, doing the best she could with what she knew at the time was the only option.

What is the hardest decision that you have had to make in your life?

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:

  • On Decisions: Know that you’ve done your best based on the information available

  • On Storytelling: Use your story to encourage and bring hope to others

  • On Judgment: Put yourself in the other person’s shoes

  • On Acceptance: Find a way to work through your fears and keep moving forward

Keep Moving Forward

Transitions.

She was in 63 different foster homes between four and 21 years of age.

63 different placements, a number that is simply unimaginable to most, if not all, of us.

She said, “The experience going through 63 foster homes was a tough one to swallow because I knew what I was entitled to … and I also had to face the fact that there are going to be times that the people who are responsible for providing services to you, providing care to you, don’t love you …”

But, despite all of the challenges and the constant transitions, it was through the foster care system that Felicia Wilson ended up meeting a foster parent who changed her life for the better.

A foster mom that helped Felicia embrace her own identity, and feel comfortable in her own skin.

A foster mom that helped Felicia realize the importance of accepting the cards she has been dealt with in this lifetime and figure out a way to play them to her advantage.

A foster mom that helped Felicia develop confidence in her own abilities, which led her on an unexpected journey of starting, “Fear Everything & Rise,” a platform to better prepare young people affected by foster care with the tools necessary to grow and live prosperous lives beyond the child welfare system.

I asked, “If you were given one word to describe your foster mom, what would that word be?”

She said, “Loving … As a kid growing up not having that stable mother figure in your life … being a kid that went through 63 foster homes … I’ve always wanted that simple hug … I always wanted to know that someone accepted my flaws … I wanted to know that no matter what decisions I made, right or wrong, at the end of the day I wouldn’t be judged … I wanted to know that if I fell short of anything I tried in life … somebody would still accept me and love me the same…”

If YOU were given one WORD to describe either of your parents, what would that word be?

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:

  • On Independence: With freedom comes great responsibility

  • On Growth: Push yourself outside of your comfort zone

  • On Letting Go: Let your wall down and let others in to help you

  • On Acceptance: Accept the cards you’ve been dealt in this life, and learn how to play them

Want to Connect with Felicia?

Website

Embrace Who You Are

He had three different names before he was three months old.

He said, “The first name I ever had was Jeremy Jones… In the foster homes … I was Toby … Now my given name, Aaron Parchem…”

For Aaron Parchem, silver medalist at the U.S. Figure Skating Championships, adapting to new environments was not an option, but rather a necessity.

It is a skill that not only helped Aaron Parchem during his early childhood years, but also during his time as a figure skater.

He said, “In skating… when I tell people that I was a figure skater for the first time, you get kind of a blank look like, ‘Is this guy messing with me?’ … I’ve come to expect it and that is what it is … I don’t look like a figure skater … I didn't even when I did it … I am a straight, black male in skating… When you’re unique, you’re going to elicit unique responses…”

Embracing his identity and surrounding himself with giving people were the only ways to break through some of the remarks Aaron had received along the way as a figure skater, a profession that has taught him life lessons that cannot be replaced.

Look at yourself in the mirror and ask yourself, “Am I happy with who I have become?”

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:

  • On Challenges: “People rise to the occasion when they’re challenged”

  • On Empowerment: Live in the service of others

  • On Support Groups: Find people who’ll support you no matter what

  • On Self: Develop a good understanding of who you are on the inside (feelings, values, and tools that you can use to accomplish your goals)