Stand Up For Others

This week’s episode features, Colin Morgan, founder and host of The Daily Grind Podcast, where he interviews today’s most successful business owners and people, in hopes to inspire the next great entrepreneur.

Tune in to our conversation as we discuss ways to reframe the obstacles in front of us; share our stories to help others heal; maintain a growth mindset; and deal with traumatic experiences. 

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:

  • On Obstacles: “You can let them consume you … or you can decide that you’re going to use this past pain as fuel to help others”

  • On Story: Sharing you story may not only help others, but also heal you

  • On Growth: Growth is full of multiple layers

  • On Abuse: It’s a cycle

“I Forgive, But I Can’t Forget”

This week’s episode features, Tanya Cooper, Executive Director at Foster Kids Unite Inc.

Tanya’s life in foster care began at five years old due to her birth mother’s addiction and neglect, and would eventually end with her being separated from all but one of her siblings! Aging out of the foster care system at 18 with no family and place to go, Tanya signed herself back in until the age 21! While in care she survived being abused by two foster brothers.

In this episode, Tanya discusses how she has been able to forgive her abusers, but not forget what took place.

Being a fighter, and working against all odds, she was able to attend the Fashion Institute of Technology for two years and would eventually find herself then being sent off to Paris to model.

Her mission in life is to change the lives of children by teaching youth to, "Take charge of their lives, you are your only hero!”

She has over 14 years of experience working with youth as a clinician, and over 22 years as a youth counselor and teacher throughout various communities.

She believes you should never stop learning and you should always be in charge of your own destiny!

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:

  • On Loneliness: Does it ever go away?

  • On Abuse: Speak up on behalf of others if you have a chance

  • On Life: “If you are breathing, you’re meant to be here”

  • On Traumatic Experiences: “I forgive, but I can’t forget”

YOU MAY ALSO ENJOY:

What makes a great leader?

I asked, “Are we all capable of being leaders?”

She said, “… From what I’ve experienced, I’d have to say, ‘yes and no’ … ‘Yes’ because we definitely have the potential to be good leaders, all of us, no matter where we’re born or who our families are … or our circumstances are … we have that ability … and when I say ‘leaders’ … it has nothing to do with positions (within organizations) … or our titles … or where we are in our lives … I also say, ‘no’ because not all people have this drive to be who they exactly are and using their potential … when you have so many self-limiting beliefs that make you feel, ‘not worthy, not deserving’ … that hinders you from being the type of leader you can be …”

Do you consider yourself a leader? If so, why?

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:

  • On Leadership: Are you aware of the role you play within your community?

  • On Self: How well do you understand your strengths, weaknesses and gifts in this world?

  • On Life: The answers are within you

  • On Environment: Surround yourself with people who will support you no matter what

Your Uniqueness is Your Human Greatness

What makes you unique?

She said, “… what makes me unique is the work that I’ve put in to growing my authentic self … It starts with really drilling down and growing internally, and finding the experiences that I have gone through and learning to accept them … whether they were great or not so good … But, accepting all of me … then, being able to pour that out into the world in my own unique way …” 

Have you fully accepted yourself for who you are today?

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:

  • On Self: How do you fully accept and love yourself?

  • On Strengths & Weaknesses: “Where do you see me? What are the areas I can grow in?”

  • On Obstacles: Own the obstacles ahead of you

  • On Language: Use words that will empower you to move forward

YOU MAY ALSO ENJOY:

Writing Your Own Life Story

It all started in his early teen years. 

He said, “… I was born and raised in Manila … Wonderful place … Wonderful community … Had aunts and uncles who doted on me … My parents raised us … telling me and my siblings that we can conquer the world; we can be whoever we wanted to be …”

But, as years went by, Richard Tagle noticed a change in his environment.

Instead of being led with the mindset of, “you can be whoever you want to be,” he noticed that he was being honed in the direction that others preferred. 

A series of questions started to formulate including, “When do you get to live your own life? When do you get to make decisions for yourself?”

A decision had to be made, to follow the path that was being created by those surrounding him and living a life that was dictated by somebody else, or creating a life based on his own interests and preferences.

Which option would you choose?

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:

  • On Life: Create a life based on your own interests and talents

  • On Success: How do you define success?

  • On Mentorship: Lead with an open mind

  • On Story: Write your own life story

YOU MAY ALSO ENJOY:

Be Yourself; Everyone Else is Already Taken

Do you find yourself seeking external validation? 

If so, what do you hope that person or group of people will tell you?

She said, “I was seeking external validation for my accomplishments because I didn't come up in a home where it was instilled in me … It was something I was always seeking … I realized that, ‘okay, if you do well in certain areas, this is how you’ll get certain types of validation’ … I have been operating off that until I was about 33 … I hit a ceiling professionally, and then also continued to recognize this void that I had, and I realized that I had to stop, and go inward to see where this was coming from … Once I started learning who I am and the things that I like …  

How well do you know yourself?

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:

Self: No one can bring what you have

Values: What do you value?

Self-Worth: You are enough

Affirmation: I am worthy

YOU MAY ALSO ENJOY:

Staying True to Your Values

Have you ever had to compromise your values?

She said, “… When I went to school … I did compromise some of those beliefs and values, some of those traditions … it wasn’t going to serve me at the time … I didn’t want to get beat up … I didn't want to be ridiculed … In fact, many times, I just wanted to be invisible … But, it was hard to be invisible when you stuck out like a sore thumb...”

If Mali’s message speaks to you, what did you do when your values were compromised?

She said, “… The best thing that I could do to cope as a young person was to either fit in or try to do my very best to study real hard and not even give eye contact to my peers … Sitting on the bus, being picked on, you just look down and you just didn't say anything … You didn't want to cause problems, you didn't want to cause issues … So, the values that my parents taught me like, ‘Stand up for yourself,’ but at the same time they were also concerned and I saw that they were kind of compromising on their values because they didn’t understand the rules and the laws … So, they were like, ‘Stand up for yourself, but do it in a way that doesn’t get you in trouble because we don’t know what the laws are here…’”

What are the values that you choose not to compromise on, no matter what the circumstances may be?

EPISODE HIGHLIHTS:

  • Values: Your values will shape your thoughts, actions, and beliefs

  • Compromise: “I think most people compromise when they don’t feel safe”

  • Uniqueness: What makes you unique?

  • Community: Create a space for others they can call home

YOUR MAY ALSO ENJOY:

Invite Others In

Have you ever hit rock bottom in life?

He said, “I got to a point where I wasn't going to be able to pay my rent … I sat down and weighed my options … I said, ‘I could try to find a job real quick, Uber or something, but realized that it wasn’t going to be enough’ … I wasn't going to go to my parents, I told myself I am not going to do that … I realized that I was in a position … where I did need help …”

Who can you count on in your life no matter what the circumstances may be?

He continued by saying, “I looked at my brother … and I said, ‘Brandon, I need help financially … $2,000 is the amount that I need … would you be willing to help me with that?’ … It was not easy to approach and ask for money … there is a sense of pride within myself that did not want that to happen …”

Who are you grateful for in your life?

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:

  • On Risk-Taking: “If you’re not taking risks, what growth is happening in your life?”

  • On Community: Invite others into your life that will help you reach your goals

  • On Vulnerability: “It shows others that they’re not alone”

  • On Life: Define the purpose for why you’re sharing certain aspects of your life

Breaking the Silence

It was hard.

She said, “… I was raised by generations who didn't air their dirty laundry … and they were raised by generations that didn't do that … So, we just didn't talk about it … we just tried to pretend it didn't happen … that conflict literally almost killed me … I needed to talk about it, I was grieving, I was suffering, but no one around me was willing to sit with me because it was too uncomfortable …”

How do you deal with uncomfortable situations?

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:

  • On Loss: Find people who will talk to you about your loss

  • On Grief: Learn how to expand around the grief and coexist with it

  • On Community: Find people who will accept you for who you are

  • On Story: Inspire others by living a story that’s true to you

Learning to Be Comfortable While Being Uncomfortable

Are you intentional with the choices you make in life?

He said, “… The truth of the matter is we will drive right past the other side of the highway or the other side of the track … Never go anywhere close to East Austin or never go anywhere close to certain areas and pockets of Austin, or even the surrounding areas that I know are suffering … But, we’ll get on an airplane and fly all the way across the world … we’ll come back and go to our nice 500 thousand dollar home … we’ll get into our nice cars … and we’ll start our life all over again. We’ll even tell about going to Haiti, we’ll tell the story about going to Africa … and never do anything in our city to make ourselves uncomfortable …”

How often do you put yourself in uncomfortable situations?

He said, “The reason why we won’t do something is because it makes us uncomfortable … it makes us uncomfortable because familiarity breeds contempt … when we’re familiar with something, it makes us uncomfortable … I strive and love being uncomfortable because putting myself in uncomfortable situations allows me to grow …”

Learn to be comfortable while being uncomfortable.

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:

  • On Belief: Find someone who will believe in you, even when you don't believe in yourself

  • On Familiarity: Familiarity breeds contempt

  • On Growth: Put yourself in uncomfortable situations